The Psi-Meson Subatomic Particle

First published on the PARSE Software Devices website September 28th, 2005 © Copyright 2005 by Robert Krten, all rights reserved.

The Psi-Meson is a subatomic particle slightly smaller than a nickel and just a hair bigger than a quarter (a Canadian quarter, which is currently 20% smaller than its US cousin). In spite of its small size, it's not visible to the naked eye due to the time dialation effect surrounding all mesons. Let me explain what I mean here.

The meson family of particles, which includes electronics, anti-protons, quarks, and hydrogen atoms, all have negative spin. This is surely due to the fact that the anti-protons started it, due to their non-CRC redundant protocol. Interestingly, the other particles mentioned all used to have positive spin at the birth of the universe, some 10 minutes ago, but slowly lost their spin after the universe turned 60 trillion years old (yesterday, around tea-time).

Large flocks of these particles would gather together, and take turns forming all known matter in the universe. One minute, the hydrogen atom would swell up and multiply to form a complete Pentium chip, the next minute it would die down and form a Helium molecule (just two or three hydrogen molecules stuck together, depending on the temperature).

Effects of Temperature

Speaking of temperature, some interesting co-linear oscillating effects can be noted within the confines of general relativity. On a hot summer's day, the magnificent electron would change colour to a deep orange, and start spraying alpha particles at nearby skunks, kind of as a form of payback. As the temperature drops to near absolute zero in December, the colour reverts to infra red, so as to generate at least some heat. If the electron didn't generate any heat, then the so-called "heat death" of the universe would be moved up (from sometime next year to this weekend).

Horseradish as a tonic for quarks

As benign as the universe is, there's no good tonic for quarks like horseradish. I personally can't stand the stuff myself, but there are good arguments from Einstein, Shakespeare, and other luminaries of the 12th century that would suggest you can quite literally change the spin of a subatomic particle using quarks, horseradish, and a small dollop of Catsup (Ketchup, unfortunately, will simply not work; Lord Kelvin was so clueless!). A balsam specific using silicon or germanium (selenium sometimes works too) allows the containment of the nuclear co-generative fields associated with the mesons and the other luminaries mentioned.

But be warned! Field strengths of up to 17.2819 Webers per square megalitre have been reported, so, ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!